At JBC.org: Why I Am a Reform Jew

Last night I posted over at JBC.org on why I am a Reform Jew. Per the rules of the blog, I'm not going to cross-post here, but I am going to link to it because I'm pretty proud of what I wrote.

So, if you are interested: Why I Am a Reform Jew.

Reform Judaism and the Holocaust

I have a Google news feed on my blog that searches out mentions of Reform Judaism in the news and I try to make a point of looking at most of the articles that it collects. Yesterday I followed a link with the headline "People of the Cloth?" because it seemed odd. It was a column by Rabbi Naphtali Hoff in The Jewish Press online edition, which states on their "About Us" page that "For four-and-a-half decades now The Jewish Press has championed Torah values and ideals from a centrist or Modern Orthodox perspective." And I have to say it really frustrated me.

Rabbi Hoff starts off with a story about a father who wanted special allowances made for his child to have tutoring instead of attending Hebrew School. When the rabbi wouldn't give in the father proclaimed that "You know, rabbi, you people of the cloth can be so inflexible!" Which leads the rabbi into a rambling discourse that begins with the clothing of the Jews and distinguishing ourselves from other cultures and ends up blaming the Reform Jews of Gemany for the Holocaust. At one point he writes:

Historically, God has taken an active role where necessary to ensure that His chosen people not lose their distinctive identity. Often, He has even recruited gentiles to force us into a position of separateness, by imposing the threat of annihilation or restrictive legislation.

He details the reforms made in 19th century Germany, the changes in rabbinic garb, changes in liturgy, the rise of assimilation into German society, etc. Arguments I have heard before. And then came the following paragraph:

As in the past, God did not allow this trend to continue completely unchecked. In Germany, the Nazis passed the Nuremburg Laws (1935), which set out to redraw the line between German and Jew. These laws stripped Jews of German citizenship, forbade intermarriage, barred Jews from most professions, and ordered that the letter "J" be printed on their identity cards. In time, Jews would be forced to wear distinctive badges identifying them as Jews. Ultimately, most were murdered, going to their deaths as despised Jews, not as proud, assimilated Germans.

Rabbi Hoff bluntly states that Reform Judaism brought on the Holocaust. And I'm sorry, you can disagree all you want with Reform ideals and theology, but when you blame a group of Jews, who were simply figuring out how to be Jewish in a modern world, for the destruction of 6 million of their own... well, then you've just gone round a bend that I can't follow. I think it is disgusting and immoral to suggest that it wasn't a lunatic like Hitler acting on his crazed ideas that brought about the Holocaust, but rather it was God punishing the German Jews for their reforms.

I do not subscribe to the theology that God causes bad things to happen, or that God punishes with natural disasters, or that God has a hand in the actions of evil men. Maybe in a time and place long since past God was much more active in manipulating the world; obviously there is plenty of mention of it in the Torah. But, maybe that was the early Jews' way of explaining things they couldn't explain, or rationalizing why they were run into exile, or were defeated by a more powerful enemy. But, I refuse to believe that God would actively punish His people for attempting to adapt their Jewish lives to a modern world.

I will not apologize for being a Reform Jew. And I refuse to let people like Rabbi Hoff suggest that Reform is the root of all that is wrong with American Judaism.

Autonomy

I've been going through some of the books I read when first exploring Judaism and came across One People, Two Worlds: A Reform Rabbi and an Orthodox Rabbi Explore the Issues That Divide Them by Ammiel Hirsch and Yaakov Yosef Reinman. I highly recommend it for anyone who is just beginning to read about Judaism and is curious about the differences between Orthodox and Reform. And I encourage people who already know where they stand to read it as well. It is basically a book-long conversation through e-mails between a Reform rabbi and an Orthodox rabbi. As I re-read sections a number of things that I've been mulling over recently seemed to become coherent strands of thought, which is what's below.

“You misunderstand the concept of autonomy in the non-orthodox world. It is not ‘legitimized nonobservance as a final destination,’ as you describe. Rather it is an effort to encourage people to become more observant with greater and longer-lasting commitment, through their free and voluntary acceptance of the yoke of commandments. This is what freedom means in the Jewish sense. It is no the ability to do, or the desirability of doing, as we please, but the exercise of free will so we can better serve God.”

--Ammiel Hirsch, in response to Yosef Reinman, One People, Two Worlds, p. 236

That is the best argument (or at least the most coherent and straight-forward one) for Reform autonomy that I have read. I am a big believer in autonomy, in making informed choices, not only about your personal observances, but about what you believe. I think all Jews by Choice value autonomy to a certain degree, whether they are Reform, Conservative, or Orthodox. Because we all made very clear efforts to make a a break with our upbringing, to educate ourselves, and with that information make a choice about what we believe and where we would seek out God and community.

Beyond that I believe that God likes people who are able to challenge things, challenge God, stand up for what they believe—our best examples are two of our most revered figures in the Torah, Moses and Abraham. We learn early on that non only is it okay to argue with God it is practically encouraged. Why should we, as modern Jews, heirs to the same covenant that began with Abraham, behave differently?

It all comes back to how you view the transmission of the Torah and the Talmud–were they transmitted as a whole to Moses directly from God? Were they revealed progressively over many years and to future sages? Was it all man-made? Divinely inspired? Do we accept the absolute yoke of the commandments or do we accept the yoke of responsibility to try to live as good Jews with the mitzvot as a guide and our source? Do we accept the idea that fences should be built around and around these Torah laws and never taken away? Or do we acknowledge that so many of these laws were additions as reactions to the times and places in which the commentators lived?

I do not deny that the sages of the Talmud were great, beyond the scope of any ordinary scholar. However, I hold that they were still men of their times who faced challenges of faith and religion that were unique to them in some ways and universal in others, but that they were still citizens of a particular time and place. And as such were writing and responding in reference to that time and space. They did not exist in a vacuum and they were not prophets who could envision future times. They saw the world around them and they responded to it. And over the years more sages responded in light of their own time until we have this amazing conversation through the ages–a great one to be sure– but one that can, and must, continue today. I’m not saying that we add to the Talmud. I’m saying that Judaism has valued commentary that comes out of your particular moment in the past, so why should we abandon that today? Perhaps the early Reform movement responded too drastically to modernity, but they were responding and adapting just as our ancestors did in t he days after the destruction of the 2nd temple. It could be argued that the trauma of the Temple’s destruction could be paralleled with the trauma of escaping the ghetto and experiencing freedom for the first time in years. I say trauma because just as in the 1st century when our sages had to envision a Jewish world without the Temple and without sacrifice, envision ways to hold people in their faith, so too did our modern rabbis need to adapt our practices to help the non-ghettoized Jews remain connected to Judaism. And maybe some of their choices were overly dramatic, but as a movement and a people we are seeking a balance and a continued answer to modernity. We are not done with our conversation in the Reform movement. Just as the conversations of the Talmud last generations, so will ours.

Yosef Reinman states that the Reform movement that is “constantly defining and redefining itself, constantly interpreting and reinterpreting according to the dictates and demands of the people” (p. 69). I would argue that this is exactly what the rabbis of the Talmud did. They were constantly interpreting and reinterpreting Torah and midrash. Today we have thousands of years more of Jewish thought to draw on, but we are doing the same thing, and I believe it is just as legitimate. The Orthodox do not have a monopoly on holiness, on the mitzvot, on Torah, the Talmud, and other texts. I am just as free to study these and to make my decisions about what I feel commanded to observe. I have written a number of times about my views on autonomy and recently on my views of keva and kavanah. But what it comes down to is my belief that you must figure out your own observance for yourself. Be consistent with your process and serious with your efforts, but it is still a personal choice. In the end it is about God and trying to honor God and bring holiness into both your life and the entire world.

gender, tzitzit and mitzvot

My rabbi finally said something about my tzitzit last night. I stopped in his office after Hebrew to say hi and to catch up a bit since it’s been a while since I’ve really gotten a chance to talk to him. So, he asked about why I decided to wear them (after point out he wasn’t sure he was going to actually say anything at all). I told him about how it related to why I chose to wear my kippah all the time— my tallit is this great physical connection as I strive for holiness on Shabbat and at services and I didn’t think it was something I should think about only on Shabbat or at temple. He pointed out that he’s always seen wearing them as a very Orthodox thing, a very Lubavitch thing; also that he always felt that they were very masculine, while wearing a kippah has been something that women have been dong for many years, at least within the more liberal movements, and entailed some self-expression; that wearing tzitzit more or less meant you were Orthodox. He said it got him thinking about how women could making wearing tzitzit their own, and while the option he came up with (attaching them to handbags??) was a little absurd, I’m glad he is thinking about it. I think, though, that what he is stuck on are traditional ideas of what is masculine and feminine, both in a Jewish sense and a general sense. I’m not saying he is close-minded, but I think that in this case he is just kind of stuck in these ideas. I come from a generation, environment, and educational background that questions gender stereotypes and what is “masculine” and what is “feminine.” My tastes have always run towards what is traditionally considered “masculine,” but that’s not why I like things, it’s just what I like. If I liked the idea of wearing a skirt, if I felt comfortable in it or liked how it looked, I would wear one. But, I don’t. I like pants, and t-shirts, and jeans, and polo shirts. I like my hair short and I like gym shoes. So, when I chose to wear a kippah originally, I didn’t look at it as taking on a masculine custom, but rather a custom that spoke to me. The same about wearing a tallit, and the same about wearing tzitzit. I’m not hung up on what is traditionally “masculine” or what is traditionally only done by the Orthodox. It really goes back to what I view is the very idea of Reform Judaism—you are supposed to educate yourself about the mitzvot, about Judaism, and make educate, thoughtful and informed decisions.

He said something else that had me thinking—that while kippot have become a mode of self-expression and are acceptable among Reform Jews and women, tzitzit are still seen as strictly Orthodox by most people. I feel like as a woman, as a Reform Jew, that wearing tzitzit is not only performing a mitzvah it is also a means of self-expression; I am saying who I am as a Jew, or at least part of who I am. They don’t need to be attached to a brightly colored garment to fall into the category of expression. Self-expression comes in many forms and I think that it is time that Reform Jews and women are able to reclaim this without getting questioned about observing this mitzvah. It’s almost like saying “we’ll support you if you find ways to keep Shabbat, in fact we will applaud you. We will encourage you to wear a tallit or a kippah if you find it a meaningful custom or observance.” And we say this to both men and women. So wouldn’t tzitzit fall under that category? When you see the 613 knots you are supposed to be reminded of the mitzvot. Whether you consider the mitzvot binding or not I think most people can agree that at the very least they are a guide to living a moral and ethical life. So, why shouldn’t wearing something that is a physical and visual reminder that there are these guidelines to living our lives as good people, good Jews, shouldn’t we be encouraged, or at the very least supported in the wearing of them? Man, woman, Orthodox, Reform, aren’t we all bound to live moral and ethical lives? No matter how we view the binding nature of the mitzvot, can we at least agree on that?

In the end, I know that he supports me, even if it is not something that speaks to him. And that is why I respect my rabbi.

Let's Be Honest w/ Ourselves

I'm going to take a break from recounting my experience at the Biennial to write about something else, something I think that as a serious Reform Jew, one who converted through the Reform movement, I should address. And that is conversion itself. The following might be controversial and is a bit jumbled but here it is:

I just read a post on a blog (here if you want to read) that deals with the emotional frustrations when confronted with born Jews or Orthodox converts who believe that you aren't "really" Jewish. The poster, a Reform convert, had a troubling conversation with an older Jewish gentleman whose questions about her observance and her process, and his eventual pronouncements on her actual Jewishness, seemed to really shake her foundation of how she sees her Jewish self. I think this highlights the problem that people going through, or have gone through, the conversion process within the Reform movement face: their feelings of inadequacy when faced with more traditional Jews. It is something I don't know if rabbis address enough, and I think it is damaging, not just to the converts, but to the entire Reform movement. Because at the heart of the matter is what is considered "authentic" Judaism and who is an "authentic" Jew.

I began my formal conversion process 5 years ago, and became a Jew, officially, on March 30, 2004. But, in reality my process began much earlier, in college, and by the time I had my beit din and received my Hebrew name, I had felt Jewish for a long time. I am a Jew. I don't equivicate that and say I am a Reform Jew. I am, simply a Jew. I belong to the Reform movement, and I am proud to be affiliated with it. I am not Reform because I want to do the least amount of observance. I am Reform because I believe in figuring out what is right for you and not just blindly following tradition; that is one of the many problems I had with my Catholic upbringing. I believe that tradition and observance is important but only if there is meaning behind your actions.

This sentence is going to be contentious, but it is what I feel: being a serious Reform Jew is hard, harder than being Conservative or Orthodox, because a Reform Jew must inform themselves about what they are doing. You must educate themselves and discover the whys of doing something and not just do it. You aren't just told "this is what Jews do, so just go and do it." Each level of observance I take on is a very conscious choice that I debate and struggle with before I take it on. I've recently started down the path towards keeping kosher, and it is a path that I have gone back and forth on in my head since before I converted. Was this meaningful me? Would it be meaningful for me? I needed to make sure that I wasn't choosing to do something simply to take on a traditional observance.

People who convert through the Reform movement with the idea in their head that they will eventually convert again through Conservative or Orthodox to be "more authentic" are dishonest. Those who convert Reform, seriously, and are later drawn towards Conservative or Orthodox, well I believe that if they come to the conclusion by being honest with themselves and not out of some sense of inadequacy, it is valid. However, I find it troubling to read or hear these Reform converts doubt their own Jewishness or allow others to question it and not be able to defend themselves. I think this is a failing of their rabbi. I think it is just as important for a rabbi to help the convert learn about the what of Judaism as it is to learn about the why, especially the why of converting in their specific movement. Reform rabbis who are working with people in the conversion process MUST address the inevitable questioning that these people will get about themselves and their Jewish identity, and they must do it in an open and honest way, with no pressure, no agenda. I think that if someone goes into the conversion process with some doubts as to the movement they are going through, this should be addressed at the beginning. Why Reform? What does being Reform mean in the 21st Century? What does being a committed Reform Jew mean? These rabbis need to be able to help converts find and feel comfortable in their identities as Jews. If other people can make them doubt their own Jewishness (as opposed to genuinely being drawn to a different movement) then the rabbi has not done a good job in helping to shape and solidify that person's identity.

It is vitally important that Reform rabbis help the people studying with them towards conversion understand what it means to be a committed Reform Jew. They need to stress that this isn't the "easy" way towards conversion and that it isn't Judaism-lite. They must help instill a pride in being Jewish, and pride for the Reform heritage they are coming into, for the Jewish heritage they are coming into.

Converts will never have the same experiences that people born Jewish have. We won't have the experience of Jewish summer camp, of learning to our prayers for b'nei mitzvot with our friends, of being a part of a Jewish home from an early age. This can cause stress and sometimes depression in people who are converting, and it must be addressed by rabbis. It should be talked about, frequently, and with many people. It is not just enough to talk to rabbis. It is just as important to talk to other Reform converts who are comfortable with who they are as Jews. I think it is probably difficult for a rabbi to fully understand the stress that converts can feel unless they were converts themselves.

It is completely valid to have these feelings; at one point I had them myself--I was surrounded by people who had experienced all these life events as Jews, while I was attending mass and Catholic school. But after awhile I realized that my past experiences were just that--the past. What I did with my present and my future was going to be important in shaping my Jewish identity. In a sense I felt lucky because I didn't have the family baggage or expectations weighing me down. Who I became as Jew would be up to me and me alone.

So, I ask fellow Reform converts and those in the conversion process: let's be honest with ourselves. Be honest up front with why you are converting through the Reform movement. Is it because they temple is closest or it's the only game in town? Is it because you like the rabbi? Or is it because you genuinely feel that this is how things should be done, that the Reform approach of informed decision is what is right for you? Do you think that somewhere down the line you will convert Conservative or Orthodox to be more authentic in the eyes of more Jews? Who is your conversion for? You or a future spouse who may or may not see you as Jewish? Or is it for the faceless others who you feel will judge you and your conversion?

Becoming a Jew is becoming part of a larger whole, a people. But it is also about becoming YOU. It is important to feel a connection with the Jewish people, but it is just as important to forge a personal relationship with Judaism, and in the ultimate end, with God. Because when it comes down to it you are presumably converting to Judaism because it is how you are connecting to God and that is the most important thing. I think we get so caught up in what makes a Jew a Jew that we lose sight on the fundamental reason for converting in the first place is our relationship with God, not our relationship with man-made constructions of identity.

I am a Jew because I believe Judaism to be the best way to connect with God. I am a Reform Jew because I believe it is the most authentic and valid way for me to forge my Jewish connection to God, opening up a world to me that is precious and genuine.