I posted over at JewsbyChoice.org yesterday on the subject of LGBT synagogues and whether they are still necessary. It seems to have sparked at least a couple of impassioned responses, which is what I wanted. If you read the post you’ll see that I come out on the side of not feeling the are necessary, but recognizing that for many people they are warm, welcoming, and needed communities. I should clarify a couple of things before I move onto the meat of this post. One is that it’s not that I’m opposed to LGBT synagogues, per se. It’s more that I would like to see the queer community integrated into the larger Jewish community. I don’t think that the greater, and generally heterosexual, Jewish community will feel the need to incorporate gender inclusive language or queer life cycle blessings and services until queer people make it an imperative. The second point is that I think the problem that can happen with LGBT synagogues when heterosexuals want to join has been addressed, it seems, well. Instead of discriminating, they are welcoming people in who see that these are warm and spiritual communities and want to be a part of it.
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I recently re-watched Trembling Before G-d. I had viewed this documentary at the beginning of my study for conversion and I was curious as to whether my reaction to it would be different now that I am more immersed in the Jewish world. But, frankly, I have much the same feeling about it as I did 5 years ago. It may be patronizing, and I am aware of the implications of writing this, but I truly feel sorry for the people in this film. That they cannot completely reconcile who they are with their belief in God and their lives as Jews. It gives me some hope and some joy to see that they are trying to live their lives as observant Jews despite rejection by families or Orthodoxy or their rabbis. But, at the same time I want to shake the people who reject them. I want to shake them and yell at them, because how can you believe that God would reject someone you love because of who they love? There are 613 mitzvot in the Torah. The prohibition against sexual relations between men is one of them. Am I to believe that these people who condemn queer Jews actually keep all of the mitzvot themselves? It is impossible. Ignoring the fact that so many could only be done in Jerusalem while the Temple stood, I believe that it is nearly impossible for any Jew, no matter how pious, no matter how dedicated, to keep all of the commandments. When I eat a piece of treif I am breaking a commandment, yes, but that is between me and God. It doesn’t affect the person next to me and is really no one else’s business. The same goes with this prohibition. Now, I also come at this from the viewpoint that this is one of those mitzvot that came from a certain time and place and that is no longer valid in this day and age. So, the fact that an entire subsection of Jews would be discriminated against, hated and reviled, it baffles me, and it angers me.
When I was in high school I struggled on a daily basis to reconcile my sexuality with what I was taught in religion class on a daily basis. I eventually came to the conclusion that if God did exist He didn’t care who I loved, but rather the kind of person I was and how I treated others.* By the time I came to study Judaism I was comfortable with who I am didn’t feel the need to reconcile a belief in God and an adherence to a religion with my sexuality.
*As an aside: at that time my doubts about Christianity made me doubt God in general; when you are taught that Jesus and God are one and the same how do you go about rejecting one without calling into the question the other?
Who I Am
- JD
- I am a committed Reform Jew interested in spirituality, mitzvot, Torah, and coming to observance as I understand it.
2 comments:
FYI this is not really my take but rather just my sharing of what has been passed onto me by my orthodox friends both lay and rabbinic.
You wrote:
“Ignoring the fact that so many could only be done in Jerusalem while the Temple stood, I believe that it is nearly impossible for any Jew, no matter how pious, no matter how dedicated, to keep all of the commandments.”
I would say that (they would say that) you have missed the point. What can’t be done, can’t be done and so until the third Temple is built all Jews are off the hook for the Mitzvot which are specific to this edifice and its associated rituals. However the point of the Mitzvot in general is to completely submit and commit oneself to fulfilling them! This of course means to the best of one’s ability and when we fall short, we get back up and start right where we left off. Bottom line is that from an Ortho POV it’s all or nothing if not in practice than in belief. You just don’t change what has been given to us by G-d and that (again to them) means both the written and oral Torah and that’s the bottom line. Orthodox Jews may not be able to offer sacrifices at the Temple but they sure can (and in fact are directed to,) follow all the fulfillable Mitzvot, which would include prohibitions related to Homosexuality.
You wrote:
“When I eat a piece of treif I am breaking a commandment, yes, but that is between me and God. It doesn’t affect the person next to me and is really no one else’s business”
Maybe but not necessarily. Judaism for most of its history has placed great importance on two things (among others of course). One being that it is a religion of praxis not creed and secondly that community really does matter. These two things hold true in the Ortho world today and so one could argue (again from an Ortho POV) what you do or do not do is indeed between you and G-D but that’s, only until you start to influence (the assumption would likely be, negatively regarding you’re eating treif,) other Jews in the community, to the point of leading them astray. I think it’s safe to assume that for the majority of the Orthodox world, that’s exactly how a Jews choice to embrace an LGBT lifestyle is likely to be seen.
So is it anyone else’s business? For better or worse that really depends on the community.
Like I said this isn’t really the way I feel about the subject. It’s what I have learned from participating, in various Orthodox circles. As you know by now (or should,) I have no interest in being an Orthodox Jew and when it comes to your (or anyone else’s) sexual orientation, it’s of way less concern to me than say whether or not you keep kosher. As a Jew I have no interest in what goes on in your bedroom but I do care about what goes on in your kitchen, because you never know someday, I might be invited over for a lovely Shabbat dinner and it would suck, if I couldn’t eat the food.
And on that note its late, so I’m going to go to bed.
Oh BTW some of the people that film are friends of ours here in LA.
Ah, but alas, I was responding from my Reform perspective. If I stepped into the viewpoint of the Orthodox, I probably could understand both the people in the film and those who condemn them. But, as someone who values the Reform perspective and autonomy and doesn't view the mitzvot as necessarily binding, I intellectually understand the argument for Orthodoxy and for what you've commented with, but personally I don't subscribe to it. Sure, there are mitzvot that affect other people if you do or don't follow them; I don't believe the prohibition against homosexuality is one of them, personally. Obviously if I murder someone or if I do not perform acts of tzedakah, that does affect other people.
You write that "you just don't change what has been given to us by G-d and that (again to them) means both the written and oral Torah and that's the bottom line." I totally understand that this is how the Orthodox, and others even outside of Orthodoxy, view the Torah and the Talmud, etc. I don't, though. Which will always be the real sticking point between liberal Judaism and traditional Judaism.
I honestly hope that your friends who were in the film are doing well and that the film did not hurt them within their communities and that it helped them with their struggle. I didn't write this as an attack on them or the filmmaker by any means and I hope it doesn't come off that way.
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