Biennial, Day 3–5 (personal observations)

I'm going to combine my personal observations about the Biennial for days 3–5, mostly because Day 4 was Shabbat and was a pretty chill day, and Day 5 included much traveling.

So, Day 3 was an interesting day. It began with prayer and ended with really great Jewish music. I was feeling pretty good and comfortable at the Biennial by the third day, something which I think relieved my rabbi to a certain extent.

I had lunch with a woman I had met in the Shabbat session on Day 2, and it was a nice lunch, getting to hear someone else's story and why they have a commitment to Judaism. She said something interesting during our conversation that sparked off quite a bit of thinking on my part. We were talking about our congregations and rabbis and she mentioned that the rabbi who had basically brought her back into Judaism, had married her, had been such a huge part of her life, fell off her pedestal at the end of her tenure at the temple. It got me thinking a lot about the role of the rabbi and the appropriateness of putting them on another level than ourselves and what that does to both our own view of Judaism and our relationship with the clergy. I was worried that I was in that position, putting my rabbi on a pedestal where he could do no wrong and that one day he would fall off. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized this wasn't the case. I have a close relationship with my rabbi; we're friends, but more than that he is my mentor and my spiritual leader. But I have never once believed he was this perfect person who could do no wrong. I like and respect him not because he is perfect, but because he is imperfect and is able to recognize and acknowledge that himself. He doesn't pretend to be the absolute authority on everything, he doesn't pretend that he is the smartest when it comes to Torah, and he doesn't try to put himself on a separate level from his congregation and students. On more than one occasion he has said something that has either ticked me off or offended me, and I have taken each time as an opportunity to speak up and state why saying what he said upset me. And each time he has listened.

I think we do a disservice to our clergy when we expect them to be perfect, to never say anything wrong, to never do anything wrong, and to be the Jews we can't be ourselves. Their role is to teach and to guide and to help us along our spiritual path, and yes, they are role models, but so are other Jews. We can't put this pressure on our rabbis to be everything Jewish to us at all times. They are men and women who have dedicated their lives to the Jewish people, but they are also men and women. They are still students themselves, constantly learning, from each other and from us. As much as I learn from my rabbi, I know he learns from those of us in the congregation who engage him in discussion and study. Judaism is lifelong learning and it's not something the ends when you have your bat or bar mitzvah, or when you finish religious school, or are confirmed, or even when you are ordained.

I feel like if we are able to see our rabbis as perpetual students, just like ourselves, we won't feel the need to put them on untouchable pedestals, and they won't, in the end, fall off of those pedestals.

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Shabbat. Before Shabbat even began there was this feeling in the air, a sense of anticipation, of excitement that I've never felt before. As I was sitting in my final workshop of the day on Friday I was overcome with this intense feeling of.... I can't even describe it. It was like my mind and my body were saying "Shabbat is almost here! We're ready!" The exhaustion of the week and knowing that this wonderful evening of prayer and day of rest were coming was overwhelming. It was almost as if I could feel the sun sinking lower in the sky. It was nearly Shabbat and I was ready. And man, what a Shabbat. After 3 incredibly full days of workshops and lectures and meeting people and all of the excitement of Biennial, Shabbat was a welcome respite. I attended a Torah study breakfast with a friend from my temple (I was strictly forbidden to attend my rabbi's, though he said later he wished I had been there because it went really well) and then we joined up with my rabbi and the rest of the people from my congregation for services. I like the services, but again, the large number of people made it less than ideal. It was neat getting to actually sit in the congregation with my rabbi instead of him leading. We were just two Jews praying.

I have to get back to work now, but I'll try and post more about my Shabbat thoughts later.